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Thread: 2 new barrymore jokes

  1. #1

    2 new barrymore jokes

    Barrymore's going to be charing a new topical music quiz, "Never Drowned The Lubbocks".
    The theme tune is gonna be that old dire straits song - "fisting by the pool"


    The BBC are making a new sitcom to star Michael Barrymore.
    Its gonna be called..........."Only Pools and Corpses".

    The beers, denslow cup V winners

  2. #2
    Spank my ass Superman!!
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    I like the BBC one! lol

  3. #3
    Administrator ORGANISM's Avatar
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    Barrymore goes to his doctors, feeling quite ill and full of cold. The doctor does a few blood tests, and a few days late Barrymore returns for the results. The doctor tells him; "Very bad news Mr Barrymore, I'm afraid you have AIDS and are going to die quite soon.". Shocked, Barrymore asks; "Is there anything I can do? ". The doctor sits back in his seat and says; "Well Mr Barrymore, go home now and eat as much fruit as you can find, order every variety of curry known to man, drink five cartons or orange juice and eat a bag of chillis...". Barrymore replies; "Will that cure me?". The doctor grins and replies; "I'm afraid not, but it'll definitely give you a better idea of what your arse is meant for.".

  4. #4
    matthew thats bad--almost homophobic
    Dream as if you`ll live forever,
    Live as if you`ll die tomorrow.

    do it again, but more violent, more violent

  5. #5
    G-funk legend Robb's Avatar
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    aaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahaha class
    Lostprophets, Funeral for a friend Knacck Club Berlin 6th March

    Lostprophets, Metallica, Slipknot, Parc Des Princes June 23rd

    Lostprophets,Nintendo Fusion Tour, New York City 26th OCT

  6. #6
    hahahaha
    SupportTheScene
    PUNK4EVA

  7. #7
    Administrator ORGANISM's Avatar
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    I aint the least bit homophobic. In fact I've been known to drink from the furry cup myself. So there.

  8. #8
    Spank my ass Superman!!
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    ahahahaahahahahahahahhhahaa nice one Matt!!!!!

  9. #9
    Y DONT BARRYMORE HAVE NE ASH TRAYS IN HIS HOUSE ...... CAUSE HE PUTS ALL HIS FAGS OUT IN THE POOL
    I am The Answer To All Beings Everywhere In Pain Who Cry Out For Help!



  10. #10
    Child of the damned! LivingDeadGirl's Avatar
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    :laugh: I like these, keep em coming! Im bored!



    Into your soul Down you must go
    Hope is not my name Free your soul
    Here among the lies You realize
    Pain is not the same Free your soul


    You're only young once, but you can be immature forever!

  11. #11

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    They are all very very funny best laugh i've had all week!
    "You broke the rules now i'll pull out all your pubic hair!"

  12. #12
    Anybody want tickets for the Bee Gees ???

    I can get you a third off
    Dodgem-X: "If You Don't Want To Know The Score, Look Away Now" out on iTunes and Amazon - 21st November 2011
    http://www.reverbnation.com/dodgemx
    http://www.twitter.com/DodgemXOfficial

  13. #13
    Buffering....4% Dejiko's Avatar
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    What song did they play at Maurice Gibb's funeral?

    How deep is your bruv?...

  14. #14
    hahahaha

  15. #15
    ITV have given matthew kelly a new late saturday night show, It's called boys in your thighs
    Bombed out priests - Mp3 unsigned - Myspace
    Carpy - Myspace - Deadjournal

    START WEARING PURPLE FOR ME NOW!

  16. #16
    Spank my ass Superman!!
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    hhhahahahahahahhaa LMAO!!!!!! hahaahahha :laughing:

  17. #17
    Matthew Kelly was on a ship with 100 boy scouts and 100 girl guides when it hit an iceberg and started to sink. The captainannounced "We're sinking! Everyone abandon ship!"
    Matthew Kelly asked, "What about the children?"
    The captain replied, "fuck the children!"
    Matthew Kelly looked around eagerly and said "Do we have time?"

    What's the difference between greyhound racing and Matthew Kelly?
    The greyhounds wait for the hare.

    What is the worst thing about being Matthew Kelly?
    You have to go to bed before 7.00

    Have you heard about Matthew Kelly's New Book?
    It's called, "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing

    Matthew Kelly is sitting in his living room surfing the internet on his
    laptop.
    All of a sudden, the door of the apartment whips open and his wife storms through.
    She screams, "You fucking asshole!" and she heads into the bedroom.
    Stunned, Matthew flips off the computer and walks toward the bedroom,
    wondering, "Now what have I done?"
    Inside the bedroom he finds the missus furiously packing a suitcase.
    He asks her what's up. She responds with a hiss, "My therapist says that I should leave you, and that you're a pedophile!"
    Matthew responds, "Wow, you're pretty smart for an 8 year old."

    Have you heard? Matthew Kelly has pulled out of Children In Need...

    Matthew Kelly is off to Florida on holiday this year He's going to Tampa with the kids.

    What was Matthew Kellys defence in court.
    He was only kidding.

    Matthew Kelly and his wife are in Blockbuster to hire a video for the
    evening. Mr. Kelly's missus asks him what he wants to watch. He says
    "How about we get Aladdin ?". His girlfriend says........
    "Can't we just get a video, you're in enough trouble already."

    Apparently Matthew Kelly thought Boyz II Men was a delivery service.

    The similarity between Matthew Kelly and whisky?
    They both come in small tots.

    What do you do if Matthew Kelly is drowning?
    Throw him a buoy!

    Why was Matthew Kelly spotted at Marks & Sparks?
    He heard boys pants were half-off!

    What did the lady say to Matthew Kelly at the beach?
    "Excuse me, you're in my son"

    Matthew Kellys Lawyer is talking to him in the cells at the Old Bailey just after he has been found guilty on 26 charges of pedophilia.
    "Alright. You got 4 months but look on the bright side. You'll be out
    in time for half term"
    Bombed out priests - Mp3 unsigned - Myspace
    Carpy - Myspace - Deadjournal

    START WEARING PURPLE FOR ME NOW!

  18. #18
    Spank my ass Superman!!
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    Ommmmm!!!!!!

  19. #19
    Buffering....4% Dejiko's Avatar
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    Micheal Barrymore walked intoa tattoo parlour and asked for a tattoo on his penis.

    the tattooist said 'what type of tattoo do you want??'

    Micheal said ' it better be a land rover, because its gotta go through a lot of shit '

  20. #20
    Spank my ass Superman!!
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    Aw ive heard that one , only it was about Elton John

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