View RSS Feed

Queensbridge_2003's Blog

dreamscapes awake..........

Rate this Entry
so the last 2 i posted i wrote those and this one if u care or can be bothered let me know what u think..........i dunno..... here it is -

"dreamscapes awake, fuedal states goverment lies
tracking our every movement looking for crimnal ties
assuming the worse, tapping our phones, technology's a curse
they wont be happy til we carted away in a hearse
i had to say something so i wrote it down and put it to verse
adverse feelings towards people we love,
because nowadays its all about who we can trust,
so trust yourself, but be wary of those who are around
because even if your close lies and deciet can bury you in the ground
the streets are talking, enemies are watching"
Categories
Uncategorized

Comments

  1. TwistedNerve's Avatar
    awsome stuff ! but ur angry u should write about flowers !
  2. Queensbridge_2003's Avatar
    i doubt that
  3. the_executive's Avatar
    nice words jon
  4. the_executive's Avatar
    I didn't leave that comment!!! I think Steven did. I would have fucking butchered it from the writer's perspective!!! Lol.

    I dunno about feudal states? just leave it as feuding? Cos I dunno? check a dictionary, and feuding flows easier.
    Line beats are super awkward, (line 5) some words can?t fit into to some of them right... you selling it to Twista or wha?
    It might be easier to swap a few of the lines round... like for rhythm and the rhymes.

    Look Jon, you know I respect your stuff? if I?m looking at it from poetry rather than performance perspective; I?m sorry, you know you can tell me to get bent.
  5. Queensbridge_2003's Avatar
    haha nah its cool i wanna know this shit like, i like to play about with what i wire...
  6. Queensbridge_2003's Avatar
    with what i write i meant lol fuckin keyboard

LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO © 2011, Crawlability, Inc.