The Joke Thread

**Forge** · 21st January 2005

anyone got a joke to tell me put it here cos i'm bored and i need entertaining

**Forge** · 21st January 2005

and i'll start aswell

elton john goes inot a tatooist and ask for rolls royce to be tatooed on his cock,the tatooist says,"you'd better have land rover done instead,the amount of shit you go through"

**Bruce** · 21st January 2005

why does noddy have a bell on his hat?

cos hes a cunt!!!!!

**=chrisonfire=** · 21st January 2005

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

**LukeD Dodgem** · 21st January 2005

Why are there no ashtrays in Michael Barrymore's house?

Cos he drops his fags in the pool

**twm-o** · 21st January 2005

whats the difference between a pile of dead babies bodies and a porsche?

theres no porsche in my garage

**Tino** · 21st January 2005

A wig and a pile of shit walk into a bar and ask the bartender for a drink...the bartender say's "i'm not serving you", the wig asks "why not?", to which the bartender replies "because your off your head and your friends fucking steaming!"

**Roachy** · 22nd January 2005

what do u call a person who hangs around with musicians...cae BONG!!!

**twm-o** · 22nd January 2005

roachy wins

**Roachy** · 23rd January 2005

ROCA: that was me...guttin the captain is takin all the glory!!

**ROCA** · 23rd January 2005

BINT!

**The Princess Of Fochriw** · 24th January 2005

if your sensitive about events such as the tsunami dont read this - smutlys cousin told me this earlier

Theyv banned washing up liquid in India cuz people kept washing up on the beach

**The Princess Of Fochriw** · 24th January 2005

o yeah there was a blackout in my street last night

so i shot him

**Roachy** · 24th January 2005

haha

**Smutly-O** · 24th January 2005

caes got a big willy!

**evilgreeneyes** · 24th January 2005

what did the grape do when the elephant stood on him?

gave out a little wine

**Roachy** · 24th January 2005

lol thats a christmas cracker joke aint it! leg

**LisforLarna** · 26th January 2005

Guy takes his wife to the Doctor...

The Doc says, "Well, it's either Alzheimers disease or AIDS."

"What do you mean?" The guy says, "You can't tell the difference?"

"Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages... Tell you what.. Drive her way out into the country, kick her out of the car, and if she finds her way back, don't fuck her."

**AlienCat** · 26th January 2005

Q: Why did Hitler really commit suicide?
A: They gave him the gas bill.

Q: What do you get with a half Italian, half Pole?
A: A guy who makes himself an offer he cannot understand.

Q: How do you kill a black man?
A: Aim for the radio.

Q: What's an Irish porno?
A: 1 minute of fucking and 59 minutes of whiskey commercials.

Q: What do you get when you cross a Korean and a prostitute?
A: Someone who sucks laundry.

Q: How do you circumsize a guy from Alabama?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: Ever hear of the Mexican who went to college?
A: Neither did I.

Q; What's an American's idea of being open-minded?
A: Dating a Canadian.

Q: Did you hear about Evel Kineval's latest stunt?
A: He's going to ride through Ethiopia with a sandwich tied to his back.

**Beck** · 26th January 2005

Elvis, Bob Marley and Freddie Mercury all asked God if they could return to the land of the living for a while.

God agreed....on one condition.....they couldn't do anything that they did when they were alive.

They all agreed and so they were returned to Earth.

Walking along, Elvis spotted a hotdog van and despite being warned by Freddie and Bob, couldn't resist.

*POOF*

Elvis was returned to heaven.

Not long after, Bob saw a guy on the side of the road drop his spliff. He bent over to pick it up and...

*POOF*

Freddie returned to heaven!!!!

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